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A bit of narcissism

Friday's Child/51-55. Lives in United States/Louisiana/New Orleans/The Westbank, speaks English. Spends 20% of daytime online. Uses a Faster (1M+) connection.  I play hard, love fiercely & unconditionally. I'm steadfastly loyal, even when others are not./Recovering addict since 09/90.
This is my blogchalk:
United States, Louisiana, New Orleans, The Westbank, English, Friday's Child, 51-55, I play hard, love fiercely & unconditionally. I'm steadfastly loyal, even when others are not., Recovering addict in NA since 09/90. Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis 12/04

Blogging Without Obligation



Friday's Child


Owned!

As in ... "You SO own me!"

Sinja OWNED!
Co owned by Deirdre

Warning! Mood swings!

"I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild; when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and moody. And in all its moods I see myself." --Martin Buxbaum

yucky. -- Otto's Mood Faces
Feeling emotional.



Day of the Week Poem

What child are you? Click to calculate your day of birth
We lost it all to
Hurricane Katrina

I'm a Katrina Survivor!

1 Dead in Attic by Chris Rose = To experience the aftermath of Katrina, this is the book to read
1 Dead in Attic
Chris Rose


Washing Away - New Orleans hurricane vulnerabilities
WASHING AWAY
Times-Picayune
2002 acclaimed series
on New Orleans'
hurricane vulnerabilities


Rebuild New Orleans!

This is our love, Louisiana

Katrina Information Network
Katrina 2 Years Later - CNN Report

Hurricanes I've Survived


Matter of Grey Matter

September 11, 2001 --
Through blurred double vision, I watched in horror as the Twin Towers in NYC crumbled to the ground. I feared I was going blind and prayed, "Please don't let these horrifying images be the last I see."

An MRI revealed a brain lesion pressing against my optic nerve. Several years of invasive tests and terrifying uncertainty followed. Finally, in December of 2004 I received my diagnosis ...

Relapsing-Remitting
Multiple Sclerosis

"What is MS?" Video


I began daily injections of Copaxone in June of 2005.  Although I seem to have permanent symptoms from my last exacerbation, my last MRI revealed no new lesions and no new scarring.

I recently discovered that the best prep for injection is a warm compress before and after. I no longer get unsightly bruises or huge knots and there's less pain.

National MS Society

Mission: end the
devastating effects of MS


Join the Movement *video*



My Champions are:
CandyPen and
Glenda, my sweet
Flutterby
I'm honored & humbled


Band Against MS

Multiple Sclerosis and
the Aspartame Hoax


Miscellaneous


resigned 4/16/08




Ear Candy

Music hath charms
to soothe a savage beast,
To soften rocks,
or bend a knotted oak.
-- William Congreve --


.:: 60s and 70s music ::.

Listen: Windows Media Player
Listen:  Real Media Player
Listen:  Pop-Up Flash Player

or my playlist @
Project Playlist

div line

.:: Diablo Tristram Village ::.
Matt Uelmen


Get Music Tracks
Create Playlist @ MixPod.com


Little known tidbit about Friday: I paid $600 for my very first computer in 1996. It was built to spec for one reason ... so I could play Diablo. I became addicted to the music of Tristram Village. To me, it's musical valium.

I am loved!

awwwww!

A thoughtful token
that changes often
from my sweet friend,
Candy @ Daily Thoughts

previous tokens


From precious Smallstar ...

Smallstar's Happy Heart - click to see full image


From my dollface, Melly Girl
pretty sparkly from Melly Girl

And I love!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

  Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

 Deeds

 Candy

  Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

 MellyGirl

 Pen

  Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

 Smallstar

 Anjelle



Gratis Graphics

If you requested a graphic and it's not here then it's probably here.

Deirdre <3 Sinja


If time and health allow, I'm willing to make custom group hugs. Request on taggie. Specify colors & names. Group hug without names is fine ... whatever. Two to four huggers.

Hugs by Gratis Graphics
Recent Mouse Doodles


Love~Laugh~Live~Laurie

coming soon -- my newphew, Gavin!



Compassion in action

[x] Don't almost give. GIVE!

For my mother, my sister, Meecie & May
[x] American Diabetes Association

For my daddy
[x] American Liver Foundation

For Frank, Meecie & Me
[x] Nat'l Institute of Mental Health

For my sister and me
Sometimes losing
is really winning!

My Presurgical Weight: 225 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 128 lbs
Current Weight: 108-112 lbs
[x]American Obesity Association

For Cassie, her mother, her stepfather, her father and my jackass brother
My clean date: Sept 1990
[x] Narcotics Anonymous

For James:
[x] Autism Speaks

Wishlist

Gifts, believe me, captivate both men and Gods, Jupiter himself was won over and appeased by gifts. -Ovid-




.: More Book Resources :.

FetchBook.Info
New & used books
Find the lowest price at more
than a hundred bookstores,
60,000 sellers, in a click.


Joined || Cliques


Woodstock '69 - three days of love and peace What a cutie patootie!
the ageless project
<!--the ageless project-->

100% Certifiably blogdriven & insane! Insane!

<<---  ? Bloggin' Fools # --->

Fanlistings

.:Recently Joined:.

Massages - YUM!
Massages


[ Sine qua non ]

[x] Love Letters
[x] hugs
[x] Imbibe
[x] Blogdrive
[x] Scentsational
[x] Starbucks
[x] Vieux Carre

[ captivation ]

[x] She Inspires Us
[x] Friday's Child
[x] Mistress Anne
[x] The Wild At Heart
[x] Tempus Fugit
[x] HOUSE rules
[x] The truth is out there
[x] JANE
[x] Moonlight

[ titillation ]

Hoops & Yoyo
Hoops & Yoyo

[x] cute but psycho
[x] Neurotically Yours

[ music ]

[x] Make Love, Not War


[ drool ]


[x] Sugary Cuteness



Contact Me




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.:: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 ::.

The wreckage of active addiction ...

My godchild began her recovery just prior to Hurricane Katrina.  She attended meetings come hell or high water ... literally.  Her life improved.  In her early 20s, she rented a beautiful little two bedroom house, had custody of her 3 year old daughter, had a job, a car -- all the benefits of being clean came fast for her ... maybe too fast.  It wasn't but a year later she relapsed.  That was about three years ago.  Now she's using, pregnant and on house arrest ... rather, she was on house arrest.

There and a half hours ago her mother sent me a text, "I need you.".  I drove the short distance to their house.  I arrived in time to see deputies from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office putting her in handcuffs.  As they were leading her away I held her hysterical mother in my arms as my godchild cried over her shoulder, "Mommy!  Mommy!  I love you, Mommy!"  This was the same "child" that not too very long ago called her mother a whore and spat in her face. 

I finally found out she had tested dirty -- meaning the results of her urine test revealed she had been using opiates ... heroin.  All I could think was "Consequences, consequences, consequences."  She knew what would happen if she was caught using.

After the deputies took her away, her mother was inconsolable.  What happened next infuriated me ... her mother asked me if I had anything that would relieve her stress -- "Do you have anything that will knock me out." were her first words.  I responded, "One, I'm not the dope man.  Two, my meds are prescribed for a reason -- because I need them.  I take them as directed.  I won't participate in your addiction."  She clung to me, apologized and cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry -- I just need something. I can't do this alone. My baby's gone."

Maybe she did need something to calm her down but I wasn't going to give her anything.  I'm angry with her and I'm angry with my godchild.  That poor little baby growing inside of her didn't have a choice when my godchild decided to pump heroin through her body.  My godchild's daughter didn't get a choice about being left without a mother, perhaps for five years.  Her children, born & unborn, will suffer the consequences of her behavior.  But my godchild did have a choice and so does her mother -- unfortunately, they choose to use. 

My friend kept screaming at me, "She's your godchild!"  Was it an accusation that I failed her?  Was she passing judgment on me because I wasn't crying?  Was it condemnation because I wouldn't take part in the hysteria and drama?  I told my friend I love her and left her with her husband and her grandchild.

Last month marked 19 years clean for me.  I'm not proud or boastful.  I'm grateful.  The hurtful thing is that this friend was one of my first sponsors nineteen years ago.  She went above and beyond to support me during those scary months I was first getting clean.  I want to be there for her now but I can't condone her drug use and can't bear to watch.  I've always told her and my godchild if they want help getting clean I'm there for them; otherwise, no.

My mother used to tell me things I didn't understand.  Things like, "Sometimes the best answer is: do nothing."  or "Sometimes the best way to be there for someone is by not being there."  Now I understand.  For now, until they decide they want recovery, I have to stay away.  I admit being around that mentality could be dangerous for me.  I'm certain I've another relapse in me but I'm not entirely certain I can survive it and find recovery again -- I hope they do.



And in the end, the love you take
is equal to the love you make
Chronicled :: 1:59 pm :: Friday's Child

doctordoug
October 29, 2009   03:40 PM PDT
 
There is always a relapse in us. But you are right,... Recoveries are hard to come by. saying yes is easy,.. Saying no is not. I am sorry to hear of more hardship for you.
PaniAntosha
October 29, 2009   10:29 AM PDT
 
There are conversations I long to have now with my Grandmother who has been gone 17 yrs. I grew into understanding her words-so I think I know what you are saying about your Mother's. You did the right thing as gut wrenchingly painful as it is. My sober brother did his program and steps and is clean but he is still so angry and emotionally attacks family members. He needs counseling to deal with his anger but I don't know if anyone can help him to see. He is so self focused and the anger pushes people away. The things I can not change...
Tammy
October 28, 2009   04:53 PM PDT
 
I'm proud of you, Friday!

You must take care of yourself, and being around them sounds like it is just not the way to do it...

**HUGS**
 


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THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR TAG. I try to acknowledge everyone, but sometimes the challenge that MS presents doesn't afford me the energy. If you find that I've overlooked your tag, please blame my fatigued and addled brain and not my <3.

Thank you to Deirdre who INSPIRED this "I'M NOT DISSING YOU" announcement.




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